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Old 1st September 2010   #1
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Default Metroid: Other M

Got this in the post today (Woo Fedex)

So far I'm liking it more than Metroid: Prime which I enjoyed (still need to finish it actually) but generally I think Metroid works better in 3rd person!

There seems to be a lot of cutscenes in this game which can feel a little out of place for a metroid game, I haven't tried skipping them but they probably are skippable.

Controls wise it works pretty well, an analogue stick would be preferred for running around but it does work with the d-pad well enough.

It did take a bit of getting used to aiming at the screen to go first person to use missels but once you're accustomed to it, it's not so bad, though it still feels a little weird suddenly standing still, Resident evil style, in the middle of combat to fire a missle at an enemy.

The same old collectables are back but also I've noticed some others I haven't seen in a metroid game before (though I didn't play much of 2 or 3 prime) such as a charge accellerator and heart piece like, energy tank quarters.

So far it's reminded me alot of Fusion with how linear the design is so far, Adam, short narratives from Samus, numbered sectors.

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Old 2nd September 2010   #2
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The "update" this game forced on me has prevented me from being able to play the game and Brawl. Keep getting the unable to read disc message. I contacted Nintendo today and I have to ship my Wii and my two games to them once I get my label in the mail in 4-10 business days. Strange thing is Metroid Prime Trilogy and all my single layered games work fine. Now I gotta wait even longer to play the game!
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Old 2nd September 2010   #3
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Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
The "update" this game forced on me has prevented me from being able to play the game and Brawl. Keep getting the unable to read disc message. I contacted Nintendo today and I have to ship my Wii and my two games to them once I get my label in the mail in 4-10 business days. Strange thing is Metroid Prime Trilogy and all my single layered games work fine. Now I gotta wait even longer to play the game!
Just be thankful it didn't brick your Wii like previous helpful "updates" did to people.

Nintendo really are imbeciles of the highest order when it comes to these updates. I hope you are complaining in the strongest sense possible. They ought to compensate you for the lost time.
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Old 2nd September 2010   #4
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I like it. It takes about an hour or so to really get the controls down but once you do the gameplay becomes very fluid. It's interesting experimenting with your dodges, seeing how they work and when they work. The difficulty so far is pretty good, the enemies aren't pushovers and it's very Metroid like in the sense that it's pretty easy to get lost.

I like the mixture of old and new, it makes the experiance very fresh. I also love how Super Metroidy it is.
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Old 2nd September 2010   #5
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I understand your point, but:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Betagam7 View Post
They ought to compensate you for the lost time.
This gets an epic, hearty lol. It's not like he gets paid to enjoy his luxury item. It's good that they're fixing it for free and covering his shipping costs. I do hope he complains about the allegedly detrimental nature of the update though.

Best of luck to you Kevin! I hope it all goes quickly!
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Old 3rd September 2010   #6
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Originally Posted by Jogurt the Yogurt View Post
I understand your point, but:



This gets an epic, hearty lol. It's not like he gets paid to enjoy his luxury item. It's good that they're fixing it for free and covering his shipping costs. I do hope he complains about the allegedly detrimental nature of the update though.

Best of luck to you Kevin! I hope it all goes quickly!
Lol away but the very true fact is that Kevin paid Nintendo a considerable sum of money to recieve a console that he could and should expect to work reliably and not to be broken by yet another one of Nintendo's useless self-serving "updates".

Imagine renting a car to use on your holiday that then broke down due to something the car rental place had done to it. I don't think any of us would be happy to just wait a few weeks to get a new one and praise the car rental service for not billing us for the pleasure.

I think its totally reasonable for him to strongly complain and mention the word "compensation". He might only get sent a free hat with an N on it but at least he'd have the knowledge and satisfaction that someone internally at Nintendo probably at least had to do more than just stamp a form to get that hat sent to him.

This is not the first, second or even third time Nintendo have "updated" someone's console and either totally or partially bricked key features of it and the more people who accept it and sit about twiddling their thumbs waiting for a replacement the longer Nintendo will continue to give employment to the Bonobo monkeys that apparently run its IT dept. Meanwhile sloppy, ill concieved updates will continue to blight Wii owners everywhere.
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Old 3rd September 2010   #7
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ARRRKKHHGHH!!! My Wii won't read the new METROID! Aaaayyyyy HELF!!




such a nice double layer
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Old 3rd September 2010   #8
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Me too SKTTR, I'm mad as hell, partly with myself because I knew I had an old console, and partly with team Ninja, because I don't get what movies are doing in a Metroid game...right now I'm in the mood of thinking of skipping them all at least during the first playthrough.

I already called Nintendo for the fix, but I had a busy day and couldn't send it in today : (
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Old 3rd September 2010   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neuzd View Post
Me too SKTTR, I'm mad as hell, partly with myself because I knew I had an old console, and partly with team Ninja, because I don't get what movies are doing in a Metroid game...right now I'm in the mood of thinking of skipping them all at least during the first playthrough.

I already called Nintendo for the fix, but I had a busy day and couldn't send it in today : (
You can't skip the cut scenes. They're nice and all, but I can see it getting very anyoing on your second playthrough or so.
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Old 3rd September 2010   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Betagam7 View Post
Lol away but the very true fact is that Kevin paid Nintendo a considerable sum of money to recieve a console that he could and should expect to work reliably and not to be broken by yet another one of Nintendo's useless self-serving "updates".

Imagine renting a car to use on your holiday that then broke down due to something the car rental place had done to it. I don't think any of us would be happy to just wait a few weeks to get a new one and praise the car rental service for not billing us for the pleasure.

I think its totally reasonable for him to strongly complain and mention the word "compensation". He might only get sent a free hat with an N on it but at least he'd have the knowledge and satisfaction that someone internally at Nintendo probably at least had to do more than just stamp a form to get that hat sent to him.

This is not the first, second or even third time Nintendo have "updated" someone's console and either totally or partially bricked key features of it and the more people who accept it and sit about twiddling their thumbs waiting for a replacement the longer Nintendo will continue to give employment to the Bonobo monkeys that apparently run its IT dept. Meanwhile sloppy, ill concieved updates will continue to blight Wii owners everywhere.
It's always reasonable to ask for compensation (never hurts and it sometimes works), but I don't think Nintendo "owes" it. The risk of malfunction is built into the price...if there were no-break guarantees or commitments from the company over fixed periods of time, list price would certainly be higher. By buying the product, the customer also accepted the resolution processes when something goes wrong. Please don't interpret this as my advocating garbage system updates or any of that. It's crap and they should think more highly of their customers. I just wanted to point out that, crap or not, Nintendo doesn't owe for compensatory damages. It's still a good idea to ask, though. One never knows...folks will take the world from you if you let them. And sometimes you just have to ask to get something extra...

Last edited by Sharecrow; 3rd September 2010 at 08:15 PM.
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Old 3rd September 2010   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Betagam7 View Post
Lol away but the very true fact is that Kevin paid Nintendo a considerable sum of money to recieve a console that he could and should expect to work reliably and not to be broken by yet another one of Nintendo's useless self-serving "updates". [snip bad analogy]

I think its totally reasonable for him to strongly complain and mention the word "compensation".
I know friend, I'm not saying it's not BS, and I'm not saying Kevin shouldn't be helped. I'm just saying that the idea that that help should be anything akin to "lost time pay" is hilarious, so as requested: lol. It was probably just awkward wording on your part, I guess, since we got your point in the end.

Bottom line: not enough people are vociferous enough in their complaints when this kind of thing goes wrong (or they are vociferous on internet forums, lamely and futilely venting their frustrations into the void, but not vociferous into customer service ears, for whatever reason), and the vociferous ones seem to be the people who luck out and don't experience any problems.
Vociferous.

EDIT: Also, exactly what Sharecrow just said, requoted here for the page turn miss effect:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharecrow
It's always reasonable to ask for compensation (never hurts and it sometimes works), but I don't think Nintendo "owes" it. The risk of malfunction is built into the price...if there were no-break guarantees or commitments from the company over fixed periods of time, list price would certainly be higher. By buying the product, the customer also accepted the resolution processes when something goes wrong. Please don't interpret this as my advocating garbage system updates or any of that. It's crap and they should think more highly of their customers. I just wanted to point out that, crap or not, Nintendo doesn't owe for compensatory damages. It's still a good idea to ask, though. One never knows...folks will take the world from you if you let them. And sometimes you just have to ask to get something extra...
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Old 3rd September 2010   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SKTTR View Post


ARRRKKHHGHH!!! My Wii won't read the new METROID! Aaaayyyyy HELF!!




such a nice double layer
GNAW
Lol! I got my shipping label and instructions to ship it today. (The 4-10 business days went by FAST!) I'll be shipping it Monday or Tuesday. We're supposed to be getting hit with hurricane earl soon so I want something to hold me over the weekend. Its probably not gonna hit Rhode Island as usual so I'm not worried about losing power or anything. I'm pretty grateful I didn't get bricked or had to deal with this "update" garbage with Brawl or Metroid Trilogy. My Wii has worked great since launch day and I await the chance to play this game hopefully next week.
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Old 4th September 2010   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jogurt the Yogurt View Post
[snip bad analogy]
It wasn't a bad analogy. You rent a car and the car company does something to break it then it spoils what you planned to do with the car during the time you planned to use it.
You ask to be compensated...not because they owe you the lost time but because if they expect you to trust them again they'd damn well better make you think they care.
You buy a Wii and Nintendo breaks it then it spoils what you planned to do with the Wii during the time you planned to use it.
You ask to be compensated...not because they owe you the lost time but because if they expect you to trust them again they'd damn well better make you think they care.

Only difference is some of us prefer playing videogames in our free time to driving a car. We both paid for a product with the intention of using it in our spare time; a product that's then been obliterated by imbeciles and if the imbeciles want our custom again its down to them to make it up to the customer. That requires more than just offering to take the product away fix it over a two week period and then give it back ready to be broken all over again by the next idiotic update.

I'm not talking about lawsuits here, just about playing the customer/supplier game. When I said Nintendo "ought" to compensate Kevin in some way for his troubles I never mentioned them "owing" him anything, so I'm not sure why Share put that in quotes. They "ought" to compensate him if they want his business again...same as any customer experience focussed company would.
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Old 4th September 2010   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Betagam7 View Post
I'm not talking about lawsuits here, just about playing the customer/supplier game. When I said Nintendo "ought" to compensate Kevin in some way for his troubles I never mentioned them "owing" him anything, so I'm not sure why Share put that in quotes. They "ought" to compensate him if they want his business again...same as any customer experience focussed company would.
I totally didn't mean to suggest that that word was coming from you. I was just trying to bring attention to that specific verb when I used it since I was speaking to obligation and not what would necessarily be the best business practices to maintain a good relationship with the customer. They're totally different things and we both know that. I was just trying to be clear that they didn't have any responsibility to do it (even though I agree that they should).

There's no contract in place and UCC doesn't work that way. I think they should do a lot more than send folks a hat or a free download, though, but I'm not going to get into that wishlist here as it is totally outside the scope of this discussion

Edit: I may have misread your meaning before because it sounded like the compensation you were writing about was driven by a customer's entitlement. But I see with your most recent post that wasn't what you believed. So what I was clarifying (about obligation versus a 'should' type if thing) may have been extraneous.

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Old 4th September 2010   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharecrow View Post
Edit: I may have misread your meaning before because it sounded like the compensation you were writing about was driven by a customer's entitlement.
Again, this, bad analogy and poor wording aside. Poor wording = referring to compensation as payment for lost time (which, at least in North America, usually refers to a legal/insurance means of getting paid what you would normally earn for your work if you were able to work but aren't due to some accident or whatever). Bad analogy = don't be defensive bad doesn't mean "you're dumb what a lame comparison" bad means the two things being compared are similar but not analogous. One is a contractual provision of a service that is due to some unforeseen circumstance not provided (car). The other is the sale of an item, which is not bound by contract outside of the original warrantee, and if the "lost time" falls outside of the purview of the warrantee then it's buyer beware or **** luck, etc. Now if enough people are affected by this mandatory update borking the goods in question outside of the warrantee's purview, we could start talking about bad business practice and/or class action lawsuit, but I don't think we're quite getting into that here. As you said, you're talking about good customer relations more than anything else, which is why in my first sentence here I said I agreed with Sharecrow besides these issues (these issues being the poor wording and bad analogy (see above for tiptoeing about the word "bad")), meaning these issues are indeed extraneous to the agreement and the relevant knowledge that customer relations and good business are what you were talking about all along. I happen to be of the opinion, apparently like Share, that Nintendo should at least offer to throw in a free game download here and there for people who they inconvenience with their shoddy online support, if it weren't for the fact that a lot of cheap losers would probably then try to find a way to exploit that "reward" system for free junk.
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Old 7th September 2010   #16
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I shipped my Wii, Metroid and Brawl to Nintendo for repairs today. Hopefully I'll get it back soon.
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Old 7th September 2010   #17
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Sucks so many people are having problems reading Metroid: Other M

I'm about 6-7 hours in and loving it. Exploration wise it opens up a bit, still waiting to get super missles.
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Old 8th September 2010   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
I shipped my Wii, Metroid and Brawl to Nintendo for repairs today. Hopefully I'll get it back soon.
Nintendo received my wii today but I didn't have to ship my games, too.
I suppose it's something related to how old your console is. I bought mine on day 1, and in fact upon listening the serial number of my wii, the tech guy on the other side of the phone immediately aknowledged that my console was faulty.
Probably Nintendo asks for game discs only for newer consoles that are supposed to work fine.
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Old 8th September 2010   #19
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Nintendo received my wii today but I didn't have to ship my games, too.
I suppose it's something related to how old your console is. I bought mine on day 1, and in fact upon listening the serial number of my wii, the tech guy on the other side of the phone immediately aknowledged that my console was faulty.
Probably Nintendo asks for game discs only for newer consoles that are supposed to work fine.
I don't understand why Nintendo is asking people to ship their games as well. It's as if they think people are some how scamming them in the fashion of

"heh heh, I didn't buy any dual layer disks, but I'll get the free repairs anyway by pretending I did"

Guess what Nintendo; this is your botch and you should be fixing it no questions asked. Games shouldn't be being released in the first place that can't play and/or break people's consoles.

Oddly I bought my Wii on the initial UK release and other than the first time I tried to play Brawl, when it looked like the game was stuttering and playing with gaps in music, it's worked fine ever since so I'm not sure that its possible to reply on the age of the console as an example of what's wrong with it.
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Old 8th September 2010   #20
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well its the disk drive thats going faulty, although i think they claim they just 'clean' it to fix it if i remember correctly.... but since they started shipping with different drives later, they can absolutely go by the age of the console.....

i dont think in ANY case you should be told to ship the games too. thats ridiculous. the whole thing is really.
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Old 8th September 2010   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Betagam7 View Post
I don't understand why Nintendo is asking people to ship their games as well. It's as if they think people are some how scamming them in the fashion of

"heh heh, I didn't buy any dual layer disks, but I'll get the free repairs anyway by pretending I did"

Guess what Nintendo; this is your botch and you should be fixing it no questions asked. Games shouldn't be being released in the first place that can't play and/or break people's consoles.

Oddly I bought my Wii on the initial UK release and other than the first time I tried to play Brawl, when it looked like the game was stuttering and playing with gaps in music, it's worked fine ever since so I'm not sure that its possible to reply on the age of the console as an example of what's wrong with it.
Perhaps they want to make sure the games work before they send them back, though surely they have access to these games to test them on repaired machines anyway....
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Old 8th September 2010   #22
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Yeah, sending games in doesn't make much sense to me. There's a slim chance they think the games may be defective and they're just going to junk them and send you new ones. I think Nintendo's repair policy usually just involves turfing the old stuff and shipping out new stuff (that's certainly what they did when they "fixed" my DS Lite's L button).
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Old 9th September 2010   #23
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Yeah, sending games in doesn't make much sense to me. There's a slim chance they think the games may be defective and they're just going to junk them and send you new ones. I think Nintendo's repair policy usually just involves turfing the old stuff and shipping out new stuff (that's certainly what they did when they "fixed" my DS Lite's L button).
I wonder if they would "fix" my DS Phat's broken hinge in such a way
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Old 9th September 2010   #24
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I wonder if they would "fix" my DS Phat's broken hinge in such a way
Probably, if it were still under warrantee.
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Old 10th September 2010   #25
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Anyone else actually playing Metroid: Other m?

I'm really far into it now, must be nearing the end, things have picked up quite a bit.

The need to wait for "authorisation" to use different beams/upgrades is ridiculous... I would of preferred to have to manually find them again.
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Old 11th September 2010   #26
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Anyone else actually playing Metroid: Other m?

I'm really far into it now, must be nearing the end, things have picked up quite a bit.

The need to wait for "authorisation" to use different beams/upgrades is ridiculous... I would of preferred to have to manually find them again.
This does sound a little weird but in a way I can see why it was done to freshen things up a bit. the idea of Samus losing all her weaponry/powers at the outset of every single adventure is only sustainably believable for so many times.

It works with Link because he's a different chap each time but with Samus it really is giving ditzy blonde stereotypers a field day.
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Old 11th September 2010   #27
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Anyone else actually playing Metroid: Other m?

I'm really far into it now, must be nearing the end, things have picked up quite a bit.

The need to wait for "authorisation" to use different beams/upgrades is ridiculous... I would of preferred to have to manually find them again.
aw, man! i just started, they make you wait for authorization through the whole game? lame. pretty cool game so far though, only played the first bit.
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Old 11th September 2010   #28
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I've played the first bit also. The flashback movies look great. Gameplay was
a bit getting used to, didn't always know when to go into 3D ... Got my first
game over in Sector 1, so I think I'll start over again next time. Anyway, I'm
not dissappointed so far.
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Old 12th September 2010   #29
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As a longtime fan of the series I would say other M definitly has pros and cons. I'm still in sector 1 right now but I'm working thru it slowly but surely. The concentration health thing just annoys me, hurts the gameplay experience. I hate they got rid of the item pickup song, i loved that little tune.
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Old 12th September 2010   #30
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I'll probably wait until this game goes for £10 before I buy it.
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Old 12th September 2010   #31
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I played this for about four hours today and I don't really know what to make of it. I find the controls to be awkward, the cinematics aren't very good, and don't like the health and missile systems. On the other hand I just wanted to keecontinue playing. Needless to say this probably wont be my favourite Metroid.
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Old 12th September 2010   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hansolo350 View Post
I played this for about four hours today and I don't really know what to make of it. I find the controls to be awkward, the cinematics aren't very good, and don't like the health and missile systems. On the other hand I just wanted to keecontinue playing. Needless to say this probably wont be my favourite Metroid.
How far are you?

It gets better and becomes a bit more 'metroidy' after a while.
I need to play prime 2 and 3 properly but so far the series for me goes:

Super Metroid > Metroid Zero Mission > Metroid Fusion > Metroid Other M > Metroid 2 > Metroid Prime > Metroid prime 2/Corruption > Metroid > Metroid Prime Hunters

I definately prefer this to the Prime games but it's not up there with the 2D games despite being a 3D Metroid Fusion (Prequel)
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Old 13th September 2010   #33
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I really gave it a good go just now and now I'm starting to get into it. I only stopped cause I needed the break but it's starting to get better now for sure.
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Old 14th September 2010   #34
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Great game and all, but finishing the main story yesterday, I couldnt help but feel the ending was rushed and disappointing.
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Old 14th September 2010   #35
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My wii has come home today from the nintendo hospital, so I finally started the game.

So far it seems Metroid enough to me, although the washed-down version of the wall jump (acceptable in the Primes, not in here) is not a good indicator of what's to come.

I found that all the movie scenes (again, still at the beginning) are totally unnecesary and that the story is over-dramatically told.
One thing above all: Samus saying that she was a child and young and naive.
I don't like it, she is not supposed to be a normal girl, she is infused with Chozo DNA and she's been raised as a Chozo Warrior.
Young and naive my arm cannon!

I'm having fun with the game, by the way. I reserve the final verdict after I beat it several times.
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Old 16th September 2010   #36
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Finally got my Wii back last night. Can't wait to play it tonight! Only weird thing that happened when I turned it on was I had to change the date for some reason.
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Old 17th September 2010   #37
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Hilarious video

Warning spoilers:

YouTube - Metroid: Other M in a Nutshell
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Old 17th September 2010   #38
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I've been playing for some time now, and if at first I was scared to admit it even to myself, now I want to take the courage to say it out loud: this game is bad.

Alright, maybe it's not bad in every sense: the gameplay, controls and attention to details are the usual Nintendo excellence, but it's like they have totally missed the point in interpreting the elements that are characteristic of the Metroid series.

I tried to put my affection towards the series aside, and judge the game objectively, but there are still things that really puzzle me.
Combat, takedowns and finishers: simply put, takedowns and finishers break the rhythm of the battle, they lower the need for developing a good strategy so providing variety just from a visual point of view, and half the times I can't pull them off or they kick in by themselves while I'm just trying to move away.
Sensemove: lame as hell.
Concentration: it ranges from 'almost a cheat' to 'inevitable suicide'. I simply hate it.
Cutscenes: I've seen more of them and I'm still of the same opinion, most cutscenes are useless to the plot.
More importantly they're genuinely bad. Pretentious directing style and over dramatic acting, basically just eye-candy boring sequences.
Map: baaaaaaaaaaaaad! Two maps that look and behave differently, is this a joke? The general map is not detailed like the rotating one (seriously, you also gave us a useless zoom option!), and the rotating one LACKS A COMPASS!!!!!!
Over the shoulder view: really, this is my most hated feature. What is about the parts where Samus goes around at turtle speed, with the camera view from behind? Those are the most boring parts I've ever played in a videogame. Are those supposed to be the 'exploration' sections? The feature is 100% useless. You already developed 2 different views for the game, a third was really unnecessary.
Forced first person view: again a useless feature for me is when you're forced in the first person perspective and you just have to move your wiimote around and point a single spot to trigger a cutscene. Is this again an attempt at 'exploration' by Team Ninja? Fail.
Switching the remote: I'm simply not having fun with this. At all.

As you can see, I have problems mostly with the action in this game and with gimmicks that are giving me the impression Team Ninja has developed a title that has lost its unique combinations of gameplay styles, so they tried to squeeze in the classic Metroid elements just by adding short sections in which the gameplay is different.
Those phases though are not challenging or fun. They're bland and lack any gameplay.
Another thing I've heard is that people are saying this game has been designed for speedruns because this type of games is supposed to be played that way, but I totally disagree. The original Metroids were the epitome of speedrunning, the idea of speedrun Team Ninja is more typical of games like God of War or the current Ninja Gaidens. it's just playing fast, it doesn't stimulates creativity in looking for sequence breaks or the developing of advanced techniques.

I really wouldn't have liked this game if it wasn't a Metroid game, but it is, so my judgement is definitely heavier.
As a Metroid title, this is all wrong. Backtracking is a joke, exploration is bland, it changes the creativity of the advanced techniques (chained shinesparks, single wall jumps, bomb jumps) for fake and automatic variety in combat, it has a very heavy accent on combat and too many mini-bosses.
Finally, even if I'm sure I left something out, the characterization is awful:
Warning: Spoiler Below.

So I was worried of Samus saying the line "I was young and naive", uh?
Man, I didn't know what I was going to hear and see during the first encounter with Ridley.
How many times did Samus already battle Ridley or Meta-Ridley since now? And she freezes in place at the sight of her arch-enemy in that ridiculous way?
And Ridley himself....oh my god! So, one of the great bad guys of classic video game history starts as a fluffy cute white creature (although deceiving in looks).
Particularly ridiculous is also the reaction of Samus when she discovers that the fluffy white creature 'used' her to take down the hive and be able to harvest the honey from inside.
And so? Why is Samus so upset like she's been betrayed? It's called survival, and it's Nature's trick to keep living things alive for the longest possible!
This game is dumb.


Sorry anyone, I had to vent my delusion. Though I sincerely think this game really lacks in the fun compartment, and I feel I've been honest to the game.
If I had to just follow my heart, I'd be offensive to anyone, from Nintendo to Team Ninja to the players who are liking it : P
What I really fear now is the future. Samus will never be known again for the fearless warrior she was in our memories.

Worst Metroid title ever for me.
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Old 18th September 2010   #39
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What I really fear now is the future. Samus will never be known again for the fearless warrior she was in our memories.
Boo hoo. Someone here hasn't played Metroid Fusion.
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Old 18th September 2010   #40
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Boo hoo. Someone here hasn't played Metroid Fusion.
You must be joking. Did you even read my post?
How can I be worried by a game that's been released 7 yeasrs ago? Really, can you at least try to make sense of the things you want to make fun of?

Future games as in "games that will be released in the future" (I can't believe I'm really writing this).

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